Jennifer Aniston Adopts 33-Year-Old Boyfriend From Africa

Poor, poor Jennifer Aniston. Shes rich; shes successful; shes gorgeous. Its TRAGIC. After all, shes over 40 now, and with no boyfriend, well tick tick tick. Obviously, her life is rapidly losing all meaning as she spirals toward barren spinsterhood. So terrible is the specter of Anistons fate that Babble recently devoted a slideshow to that unfulfilled crone and other Celebrities with Aniston Syndrome. But while Babble ultimately decided that musing who might regret not having a baby sooner is douchey and pulled the piece, the endless speculation about when the Friends alum will just settle down with a nice man (note to Jen: not John Mayer) and start a family never lets up. We just want you to be happy, dear.